The Start of this Week 

Being on mat leave married to a husband who works random shifts I tend not to get Sunday blues anymore, I don’t often get a case of the Monday’s in fact I quite look forward to them in some aspects because going places tends to be quieter unless it’s the holidays (I dread when I join that group). 

However the start of this week has not gone exactly to plan, if you follow my social media (especially insta-stories) you may have a gist of it. It went so absurdly wrong that you have to laugh, so let’s start with Monday; 


Monday this week was my mum’s birthday, we thought it would be nice to go for a walk at Keasrney Abbey, take the dog, let the girls have fun in the playground (ok mainly Maisie) and maybe get a nice cup of tea from the café on our walk. We arranged to meet there at 10:30, google maps told me it was a good half hourish away, I managed to get everyone out the door and in car seats at 10:08, which for this family isn’t too bad, albeit we were still running late which I hate. In-between john sorting the boot of the car to fit the dog and double pushchair he informs me one of the tyres on the pushchair is flat, we decide it’s fine we’ll quickly inflate it when we get there and hope it holds out for the walk. I then get contacted by my mum to tell me that Junction 10 is queued back due to an accident, so I now know we will be even later. John hops into the drivers seat and starts the car, except it doesn’t turn on, he tries a few times until the car won’t even turn over. My car which just went out of warranty last month. John has a look under the hood, pulls his car around and jump starts the car(all the while I’m sat in the car with a whining dog, crying toddler and screaming baby, yaaaaay), I tell him to put the jump leads in my car just in case, and we’re away, 20 mins later than we should’ve been. No sooner have we gone about 50 yards when we notice a warning light on the dashboard, we pull over, john looks it up and informs me it’s where the battery needs to recharge, and as if by magic, we pull away after a minute and it disappears after another 50 yards. The good thing about our delay is that the Junction is now clear, yey. 

Every Twunt and his mother is out on the motorway, doing that thing where they drive really slow then speed up when you go to overtake, or suddenly overtake back like it’s cat and mouse. I will add, at this point Luna is way overdue her morning nap, we fed her just before we left hoping it would lull her to sleep in the journey but the screaming/waiting time in the car seems to have supercharged her.  

Just as we approach the tunnel past Folkestone, we hit a big old traffic jam moving at a snails pace, which incites more angst from the small one and lots of annoyance from the bigger one, Maisie is of the belief the slow moving is because our car is broken so she starts saying “come on car!” And gets further frustrated when the car does not leap to full speed.  

Luna is getting more frustrated but we’re finally through the jam and moving again, which is when we think we can smell poo, not to worry we will change whoever has done it in the car when we get there. 

We finally arrive, extremely late for our walk, I head off to find my mum with Maisie and Pumba while john is left to deal with what I am told is a very close shitastophe. Pumba meanwhile is pulling my arms out of their sockets trying to befriend other dogs and go and chase ducks, Pumba is a classic Marley and Me Labrador, which is the very reason I am hesitant to let him off the lead, however I can bear the arm stretching no longer and we have walked away from the ducks so I risk it, all is well, we are having a grand time until I hear a shout of “PUMBAAA” from john walking across to meet us, I got so wrapped up with watching Maisie with my mum I forgot about the pissing dog who is now running full pelt towards the duck pond where some mums and their toddlers are feeding the ducks, we are now both yelling “PUMBAAA” and sensing the danger in our voices and by some miracle of God the dog hits the brakes just before the pond and comes running back to go straight on the lead. 

Being distracted watching this gorgeous girl

After our walk we decide to get drinks from the café after John informs me he has not yet had a drink today, I offer to buy drinks and decide to be organised and dig my purse out of the change bag befoRe I go into the café, except I can find neither a purse or a wallet, because we both forgot to put one in.  

Luckily our drinks were bought for us, as John and I have a small bicker over whose fault it was, feeling embarrassed. After that the day wasn’t too bad apart from Maisie having a powernap in the car on the drive home meaning she absolutely completely refused a nap when we got home, oh and Luna did not nap either of the drives nor on the walk, will of steel that kid. 


Playing peekaboo with Nanna


On Tuesday we decided to go to Polegate (on the outskirts of Eastbourne) to see his mum and sister in their café (again, check my social media, the food and drink is delish) and to pick up a pushchair we had won on eBay that John’s mum had kindly picked up for us. We didn’t set a time to leave that day which was great as there wasn’t a massive rush, although we did leave quite late, John the asks Maisie if we should go the back roads or Hastings, she picks Hastings which quite honestly was a poor choice as we got stuck in lots of traffic and the weather was awful so we couldn’t even admire the sea really. Again, Luna has yet to have a morning nap and has been fighting it and whingeing a lot of the journey so far, just after Hastings, we hit such abominable traffic it takes us a good 20 mins or so to go 2 miles. By this point Luna has lost her shit and Maisie is crying too, the only thing that calms Luna is me stroking her (which breaks me at such an awkward angle) or me singing to her, unfortunately, my singing often enrages Maisie so it’s a choice of sing and calm Luna but have Maisie cry, break my arm and stroke Luna but have Maisie cry to stop touching Luna or ignore both and go to my happy place, I did a mix of all three, I’m not going to lie.  

Whilst in traffic John and I are discussing if we can smell poo or not, it’s not too pungent so we decide not to stop at the services once through the traffic because it’s either outside, one of the girls have wind or it’s just a little poo.  At this point, John and I admit to each-other neither of us has had breakfast today and it looks like Maisie is not going to be sleeping anytime soon so I crack open MY emergency pretzels that I now have to share. 

We eventually arrive in Polegate, the weather is about 2degrees, its ridiculously windy and raining and we have to walk down to the café it is at this point as I lift Luna from her car seat the brown aroma hits me like a ton of bricks, as it has done her clothes, we have a nuclear shitastrophe or epic proportions, luckily for us, Johns sister lives above the café so we kind of run down holding Luna awkwardly at an arms length and casually ask to go upstairs trying not to upset the customers. It’s as we’re going upstairs it dawns on me, I’m almost certain I forgot to replace the emergency clothes in the change bag or top up the nappies. My bad feeling is correct, luckily after rooting around we find 1 nappy but no clothes, not even Maisie’s, Luna’s poo leaked through two layers, the only thing not hit is her cardigan and bib, so we pop those on her and wrap her in a blanket. Now if you don’t know Polegate, I’ll spare you some excitement, there isn’t much there in the way of shops, especially not the type to sell baby clothes, so John now has to drive towards Eastbourne to Sainsbury’s which is the nearest shop to get more nappies and spare clothes. Maisie is off her face on excitement at being with family again and Luna just wants to show everyone in the café her chubby legs and nappy while I’m trying to keep her covered, partly to hide the crap mum failing as much as keeping her warm! 

I cropped out he bare legs under this 😉

However John did eventually return (I did wonder if he would just drive off into the sunset never to be seen again) with two gorgeous outfits for the little lady and we had such a delicious lunch, with the scrummiest cake in the world, plus we got our new pushchair. On the drive back, Maisie eventually crashed out for a while so John and I snuck out the chocolate to share which always feels like a win when you don’t have to share with the kids. Luna, slept for approximately 20 minutes before starting the song of our people, Maisie woke shortly after we finished the chocolate and the rest of the journey home was interspersed with wailing, chatting and the very occasional (beautiful) silence.  


Since those two days I haven’t found mentally strong enough to go out in the car with the kids again 😉  

Oh and if you’re near Polegate, pop in to the Cherry Tree Eatery, you will thank me for it later, especially if they have apple crumble cake in!

The kids do at least seem to approve of the pushchair

10 Reasons why Peppa Pig is the Absolute Worst

When Maisie was first born, John bought these books on how to raise an intelligent (emotionally and intellectually) child, one of the big things he stipulated was no TV before 2. HA HA HA, that rule quickly went out the window when I fell pregnant with Luna, thankfully, our main channel was CBEEBIES, I didn’t bother with the other channels, I knew of Peppa Pig and I had read so many bad things about her in forums that I knew to avoid her.

I have to admit these days we are more disciplined with the TV unless ill, we only have it on for the last part of the day if at all, however, if I have failed to get up and showered before the kids are up in a morning (which is often because I value my sleep too much) I often let Maisie be babysit with Youtube on my phone while I have a quick shower when Luna is napping. Unfortunately for me, my darling husband once let her watch that pig and she is now obsessed. I used to be able to palm her off with the slightly more educational “Andy’s prehistoric adventures” but no, all she will watch is Peppa. I like to think i’m pretty patient with kids shows, for instance, I’ve grown accustomed to Mr Tumble, I have managed to clock out Bing’s constant whining (Bing is next on my hit list) but I cannot stand Peppa Pig, here is a list of reason’s why it’s just terrible;

  1.  Pedro Pony, he is a fudging liability, he’s late to EVERYTHING, loses EVERYTHING, and is just a bit useless, the other week I learnt he had broken his leg and was in hospital and Peppa and her class were going to visit him, imagine my disappointment it wasn’t a glue factory.
  2. Daddy Pig is a bloody moron and quite frankly seems incapable of pretty much anything, ever, I could list too many things for why he shouldn’t be allowed his kids.
  3. The Doctor, seriously, one kid just has to sneeze and they call the doctor, who comes in a bloody AMBULANCE to give some medicine?! Can these adults not work out to what to do with a cold without the need of a flipping Doctor?! At the very worst call the pharmacist, gee whizz.
  4. The Vet, first off, no one ever seems to get billed by the vet which as we know is BS, second off, she has a seaplane which she uses to go out to a gecko in the mountains Edward Elephant has found (who is apparently a clever clogs) that is sick, except he isn’t sick hes just stuck on his back, I mean really? First of all, Edward is a moron, not a clever clogs if they didn’t even try that, second of all, I hope the vet bills them a ridiculous amount of money for calling her out for that, and how many vets have planes to get to sick animals in this Country?!
  5. Miss Rabbit, I don’t understand how Miss Rabbit does all the jobs and just so happens to be working that particular one when Peppa comes by, what if someone needs her in one of her other jobs but no she can’t because she’s selling George an overpriced balloon his moronic grandpa will lose.
  6. Sizing, all the animals are the same size! since when is an elephant the same size as a hamster?! ridiculous!
  7. Pets, why do some animals not make the cut to be treated like the rest of the animals on Peppa Pig and merely get downgraded to incoherent pets? who decides who is what? This is something I’ve also questioned on Hey Duggee (which I do actually like) and Bing but it annoys me most with this.
  8. The storylines are ridiculous and there is very little educational value from it, at least when shes watching Mr Tumble I can pretend to myself she’s learning sign language.
  9. My biggest Pet Peeve, the sexism! All the girls wear dresses and play with dolls and pick flowers etc etc, the boys play football, play with dinosaurs etc, Peppa’s best friend Susie sheep wants to be a nurse, but why can’t she want to be a doctor, and a boy character a nurse (that’s not me hating on nurses by the way, they are amazing and not well paid/supported enough). It’s all very old fashioned role wise and it drives me potty, I’m trying to raise my girls to believe they can do and be anything they want so long as they work hard for it, and then you have these shows that just kind of enforce stereotypical gender roles and I just want to scream!
  10. Finally, the crappy merchandise, it’s everywhere and overpriced for absolute crap, which obviously my kid wants, then there’s Peppa Pig world which I will probably give in and take her to at some point and pretend I’m having a great time when all I want to do is bonk that ungrateful rude little, phallic head shaped pig in the nose.

So that’s my main issues with that pig who is well overdue a visit to a special house to be made into a nice bacon sarnie for me to enjoy whilst we watch something else on TV!

Oh and to add insult to injury my husband LOVES Peppa, sometimes I question our marriage, he also just read this and pretty much defended every point, anyone have a number for a marriage counsellor? 😉

God you’re annoying.

The Sudden Realisation

It’s dawned on me very recently that I am ageing, now I know what you’re thinking, well duh we all numnuts, BUT I mean in more specific way;

I’ve always been a bit middle aged, I was the more sensible friend, yes I have done some wild things in my teens (crazy piercing anyone?) and early 20’s but those were on the rare occasion and were harmless, but mainly I have been the boring more sensible type, mainly because I’m a worrier and I like to prepare and plan where I can, so the idea of getting older hasn’t bothered me because in spirit half the time I’m there.

I sound really fucking boring now don’t I? I guess in some ways I am, but I am very imaginative and creative plus I have a great dirty mind (with jokes before someone sends me their weird fantasy, although it would probably make me laugh) which I think helps balance the boring/sensible out!

Gloriously youthful!

Back to my epiphany, I have noticed more recently in my photo’s and selfie’s I’m beginning to get wrinkles! Shock horror, My hair which hasn’t been dyed since I fell preggo with Luna is a bit of a dull colour and I fear may be slightly greying?! *Get’s messages saying “oh you didn’t know?!”*

It’s not just the physical signs though, when my kettle broke the other day (if you don’t see my Insta stories you obviously missed out on a treat there!) I went round to so many shops to find the right one, now younger me, would’ve bought a pretty one made by a reputable brand and that would have been that, but here’s the thing, I’ve had all those brands and none last very long, a lot of the pretty design ones break too easily and are impractical. I very nearly bought the coolest kettle in Curry’s reduced from something like £80 to £30 BUT it felt flimsy as fudge, that won’t do me and my teas, so I went around handling these kettles and I bought a LOGIK one for fairly cheap because it felt sturdy it felt like it wouldn’t fail me like my last kettle had done (the bastard), oh and reviews looked good too! So that’s one way I’ve gotten old. *Not an ad for LOGIK, so far Larry the kettle has lasted one week and I’m pleased with him but it’s early days guys!*

Welcome to the family Larry

Today was my most recent revelation, on a playdate with my best one Egg and her gorgeous boy, we found ourselves deeply discussing Lidl, the price of meat there, the problem with parking at our local one and maneuverability and the random shit aisle you can never stay away from. But mainly how much everything cost, we were talking about boring grown up stuff and genuinely getting a bit overexcited about the bargains we’d had, her especially telling me all the meat her husband got for £x the other day. I promise this isn’t an ad for LIDL because the bastards also put a bloody Moana magazine at Maisie height when I was in there so guess who got mugged off £3.99! That was like the price of my bottle of wine and I know I’ll savour that wine more than the kid will her chuffing magazine, she can’t even bloody read!

Then Egg’s door went and it was a man (I use the term man loosely here), he had come to do a quick home inspection and neither of us could be believe it because he looked about 12! When did we reach that age that people doing proper legitimate jobs look so young? The thing is with my best friend, we may be married with kids but when I’m with her I feel like that same sixth form student messing around in drama rehearsals again with her. I’ll be honest we were both reeling at that point, that maybe we aren’t as young as we used to be.

Another more youthful me sans wrinkles 

So that’s my recent revelation, I’m no longer that young 20 something with elastic skin on a trim body trying to work out how you are a grown up, apparently, I am a grown up now?

So I’ve panic bought some wrinkle cream, and decided that maybe I need a “fun” new dress or something to show the kids I’m still hip hop, see I’m totes down with kids 😉

Curse you wrinkles!

My Birthday, by Maisie

Maisie/Muj here, I got fed up of mummy working so I decided to take over and tell you all about my birthday, because mummy would only tell it wrong anyway.

It has been a long wait until this thing mum and dad keep talking about since the scary fat man with the beard dropped me off some presents, my “Birthday”, all I know is that it means cake, mummy keeps asking me what type of cake I want and I keep telling her Moana, and I wait for her to give it to me, but she just doesn’t, she says its not my birthday yet?! Why does this woman forever torment and tease me? 

Today is my birthday, mummy, daddy and Lulu came into my room singing happy birthday and we all went downstairs where mummy and daddy told me to go look for something, I immediately went to my cake on the table because it’s my birthday which means CAKE! Apparently it was not cake time yet (WTF, yet again, mummy torments me) and I was redirected to the rug. It was there I saw a glorious sight of presents IN A WHEELBARROW! My own wheelbarrow, finally! My presents were surrounded by balloons, not quite enough for my liking but it will do, I guess. I tried to share out the presents like at scary fat man time but apparently they were ALL for me?! This was turning out better than the scary fat man day.  

Hard at work

Opening presents was hard work, so I had some milk with a special straw to make it tastier and then I had my favourite food for breakfast, sausages! This day was going alright, though I play it cool, can’t let mummy and daddy think they’re doing a good job and let them be comfortable. Plus they kept giving Luna attention, even though it’s apparently MY day! 

After mummy threw a cup of hot chocolate all over the kitchen and her and daddy took forever cleaning it, we went out in the car, whereby I made sure to scream everytime Lulu was falling asleep so she would start crying again, can’t let mummy and daddy relax too much after all. After practically forever we arrived at the seaside, where Nanna and Nonno were waiting for me! Then we went in this strange building where I had to wait while mummy and daddy fed Luna, but I saw a special dolphin ride so dragged Nanna to it so she could make it work for me, until the killjoy mummy said Nanna had spent enough money and took me away from the fun. Finally mummy and daddy remembered it was MY day so we went properly into the building and saw loads of fish, of course I made sure to run from one tank to the next most of the time before mummy or daddy could tell me what things were, except with the stingrays, they were pretty cool, and the sharks were ok, at one point I lost mummy because she was busy looking at an octopus so I made sure to repeatedly yell really loudly for her to come to my side at once because it is after all MY day. Next we went to one of my favourite bits of the building, the gift shop, I had a lot of fun playing with different toys and even got Nanna and Nonno to buy me a stingray (suckers), unfortunately they bought Lulu a turtle too, but I guess that’s ok, even though it’s not her day. 

Then we went to an arcade where I spent so much pirate money in these machines to win more pirate money back and some tickets. Eventually when I made it clear I was done, mummy and daddy went to a special counter and I got to pick a bouncy ball and a sweetie, mummy and daddy said something about how much they had spent to win that, but obviously they don’t know how special bouncy balls are (duh). 

I got to have lunch in a boat then we had the boring drive home where I took a cheeky power nap to ensure I wouldn’t have to have a nap when I got home. Nanna and Nonno came back to our house and they brought MORE PRESENTS. Do you know, opening presents is very tiring? I had to demand mummy or Nanna do the hard bit because I needed to conserve playing energy (obvs). Then I FINALLY got to have my cake, mummy brought it in with a candle and everyone sung me happy birthday and mummy helped me blow it out as it was faulty or something because it wouldn’t go out when I tried.  

Later Nanna and Gog came over to see me too, so I let them have cake as well, keep them sweet and all that, and I showed them my toys and half talked to them and half watched a film as I was tired and it was MY day don’t you know? After Nanna and Gog left my Auntie Rachel came over who had a present as well, so I also let her have some cake especially as she got me a Peppa Pig! 

Before long it was bedtime and it had been a busy day, luckily Nanna and Nonno got me some more musical instruments because a keyboard, drumkit and guitar aren’t enough I now have a triangle and the maracas to play with too. Mummy said something about how happy she was that I had more things to make MORE noise with, so I decided I should probably have a good night sleep ready to serenade mummy and daddy in the morning.  

In conclusion, I have decided birthday’s are pretty good, although it did make me a bit grumpy for a few days after because I was tired, obviously mummy’s fault for not tending to my needs well enough, don’t worry I make sure to let her know of every single failing, then I give her a kiss to give her a bit of encouragement to do better. I think I should have a birthday every month. 

Anyway this writing malarkey is boring and I need to go put some stickers on the dog, mummy can have her magic machine back now. 


So there you have it, I think everyone was shattered for a few days after Maisie’s birthday, although to be fair I’m constantly in a mombie like state so it’s hard to say. It was such a lovely day and I wanted to thank everyone that sent presents, cards or well wishes, she had a great day and the cake was flippin tasty if I may say so myself.  

*disclaimer* I may have typed this for Muj but I’m pretty sure this is fairly accurate 😉

A Little Update from Moi

Hello my lovelies, I realise I have been quiet on the blog for a couple of weeks after our disastrous start to the New Year. In all honesty I’ve been taking a break for my mental health.

I had a bit of a breakdown just after New Year, with lots going on in my life as well as the juggling and exhausting act of raising two little ones close together with a husband that works long days on an ever changing shift pattern, everything caught up on me and I crashed hard.

Thankfully, I have an amazingly supportive family with my husband, my mum, sister and also my best friend. In my hour of need they came through, and the great thing was, that now I live back in Kent I could have cuddles from my mum, my best friend came over for hugs too and it really did help.

I have been open about what’s going on and I’ve also referred for counselling too, John has been great in keeping a check on me and making me talk about what’s in my head when I don’t want to.  Most importantly, the reason that makes me want to be better, to keep going, is my beautiful girls.

I’ve also started channeling my negative energy into creative energy and I’ve started creating ornaments with polymer clay which I’m enjoying.

Tomorrow my big girl is going to be two years old which I’ve got mixed emotions about, I’m very excited for her to be reaching more milestones but I’m also so sad at how quickly it’s going. The last week I’ve been making her birthday cake, a “Wana” (Moana) cake she requested and I won’t lie, I’m quite chuffed with how it has turned out.

The finished cake ready for tomorrow, probably would’ve been cheaper to have professionally made!

We’re off to an aquarium tomorrow before heading home for some cake and I’m feeling positive for the future, there’s going to be a lot of difficult times to come I’m sure especially now Maisie is entering the terrible two’s (sob) there’s going to be even more challenges, but I’m so glad to have a great support network around me.

Beach walk to help clear the head

So that’s where I’m at, I’m going to have some more content published soon (hopefully). For now I’m off to watch The Jungle Book with my big girl and breathe in her smell on her last evening as a 1 year old.

Showing her monkey to the actual monkey’s at the zoo last week

Day 1 of 2018….

This kid is ready to party

It’s day 1 of a new year, as I said in my previous post I don’t believe in that “new year, new me” BS. I do however enjoy the start of a new year and the hope it can bring. 

I’ll start off by painting the picture of Christmastime in our house, John had about 10 days Annual leave before and Christmas until just after boxing day which is unusual and fortuitous, and I’ll be honest we kind of embraced the whole anything goes culture, of over indulging Maisie with treats (John is terrible for this) and having the TV on pretty much all the time. However, when he went back to work, I worked hard to reduce snacks Maisie was having and what they were and on one day we had no TV at all, and after that it was minimal. I told John that we needed to go back to being strict. 

This morning the first thing my darling husband does, is put the TV on for her so she can finish watching Totoro, then straight after that, Moana. I remind him of my rule, he tells me its New Year it’s a treat, then we all have a chocolate each. Then he cooks sausages for breakfast, Maisie adores sausages, she could eat them all day. So, when he serves us breakfast he informs me that myself and him have 2 ½ sausages each in our sandwich and Maisie has 3 sausages, 3! I can tell she’s struggling to eat them but she refuses to share or save them for later and is there ages eating “the precious”.  

Trying to get somewhere

I have to admit I was feeling nostalgic this morning, when Luna starts making the beginnings to crawling and successfully army crawls her way backwards across the living room rug, much to her annoyance. I realised that she’s not a little baby anymore and I feel a bit sad about that. Then Maisie lets me tie up her hair for the first time ever and helps me put shoes on Luna, and I realise how grown up she’s becoming and again whilst I’m proud I’m also sad at how quick it’s gone and how fast my girls are growing. 

After a bit of a lazy morning around the house I announce I would like to go out to a garden centre (because it’s pissing it down so there goes my plan of the zoo or dog walk on the beach) off we head to a garden centre, except of course it’s New Year’s Day and it’s closed. By now it’s also way into Maisie’s lunchtime hour, luckily the garden centre we were heading to is surrounded by restaurant’s so we decide to have a bit of a treat and eat out for lunch, you know, celebrate the New Year and all that.  

We’re shown to a booth, which Maisie decides she’s a big girl and wants to sit up with me, and we attempt to secure Luna unto a high chair (she’s still wobbly sitting up unaided sometimes). We order lunch and some drinks, and all is going well. Maisie is excited to be eating out and not in a highchair that she starts dancing to the Mexican music and we’re the picture of a fun family, I’m dancing with her, everyone is laughing and having fun. The food doesn’t take too long to arrive and we sit down to tuck in, except Maisie doesn’t sit down, Maisie is still on a high, she wants to crawl round the booth, she wants to dance some more, she wants to smear chicken nugget in my hair, she’s spitting out her food onto me because it’s “Baaad”. We’re losing patience, threatening a high chair. Trying to give Luna attention and make sure she’s ok eating her broccoli. The smug feeling has gone, the fun family has gone. There’s just one feral toddler, high on a few sips of apple juice, probably still full from three whole fucking sausages (can you tell I’m bitter) refusing to eat her food and sit still. The bribery comes into play from daddy, of finish your dinner and you can have dessert, you can have ice cream, just have a bit more dinner, OK just have one more nugget and one more chip.  

non alcoholic deliciousness

It doesn’t work, then she stabs herself in the mouth with a bloomin fork which leads to a catastrophic meltdown. I’m wondering why I bought bloody fajitas I have to assemble myself while trying to control a mental toddler and keep an eye on the baby, while daddy sits the other side of the table in his chair, untouched and unharassed, trying not to resent him and remind myself that this is a fun treat.   

After eventually calming Maisie down I have finished my food and sit her on my lap to try and get her to eat at which she just spits her food out onto my plate or pokes it until it *accidentally* falls off her plate, she’s not even having the decency to say “whoopsy daisy” by this point. Then another meltdown starts building when we inform her she will not get dessert or anymore special drink because she won’t eat her dinner nicely. By this point I’ve given up, I’ve admitted defeat. The waitress obviously having witnessed this before (which makes me feel slightly better) comes over and offers to get the bill and did we want to pay straight away? While I take Maisie out to the car, to continue her protestations away from anyone trying to have a nice meal. All the while wondering why oh why did we bother? To add final insult to injury, when the husband joins me in the car he asks me if I’ve got any Rennie in the change bag, I never take indigestion stuff, it is him that needs it regularly and I had to bite my tongue in telling him I’m not his mum and I already have to sort a bag for 2 kids, the same bag he can also put things into. 

Happy Days

It’s now naptime, my spirit is feeling slightly broken from this morning, my hope for the new year much diminished. The only silver lining is that A) It was tasty food, B) Luna seemed to have a good time, C) No washing up. 

I’m now thinking I should’ve made a New Year’s goal not to bother eating out with small people unless there is a big group to entertain them with, even then it’s a gamble. Still it’s only day one of the New Year….. 

P.S. I’m currently eating ice cream, because as I pointed out to John, I ate my lunch 😉

My 2018 Aims

Quite possibly the last time I went out for New Years….6 years ago!

I HATE the word resolution, it just get thrown around to easily at New Year, there’s always the same ones (which I’ve also made) often “get fitter” “eat less crap” are on them. So I have decided to give myself aims for 2018. This year I had one aim which was to survive having two under two, and do you know what? Some days I’ve been blemmin amazing and I’ve surpassed my wildest expectation, other days, well other days I have done exactly what my aim was; SURVIVE. All in all, I did pretty well, so here are some of my plans/goals/aims whatever you want to call it for 2018:

  • Plan more play dates, especially with my best friend Egg and her gorgeous boy, maybe even involve our antisocial hubby’s.
  • More beach trips!
  • Keep making full use of our zoo pass.

    Happy days at the zoo!
  • Have at least two days/nights with friends without kids so I can actually focus fully on my friends and let my hair down a bit (plan a few to allow for John getting called into work/kids/me getting sick because they can smell plans)
  •  Try to have a date night/day at least once a month with John, even if it’s just us watching a film together at home, no phones, and no crafts for me, just spend time together and have a meal together where we really chat, AND have it at the table! (AKA the dumping ground).

    Our Minimoon, back in the child free days when everyday together was a date day 😉
  • Develop the blog, create new and exciting content for you lovely readers.
  • Be a little bit more realistic with setting craft targets for myself I’m terrible at deciding to do a big project and putting it off until the last minute so I’m up all hours stressed trying to finish it.
  • Get more sleep ( HA HA HA) Alright that one is dependent on the kids mainly but a girl can dream, except from in my sleep because that is broken by the sound of cries.
  • Make time for myself, go out for coffee on my own or have an evening off doing jobs to read or have a nice long soak in the bath, this one I say I will do so often and when I do it, it’s so lovely but I’m terrible at giving myself time out.

    Apparently “me time” doesn’t stretch to going back to the Maldives (I checked)
  • Finish decorating the house (see another upcoming post on the rental nightmare).
  • Run a race of sorts such as the race for life which will mean doing some sort of fitness (I’m not promising a transformation here but I need to do something for all the biscuits and cake I consume.
  • Start working on the bucket list, write it down (in my shiny new journal from the hubs) and get on with it.
  • Stop worrying about the past and focus on the present and the future
  • Take some time away from technology to be more present with my family and to process my own thoughts

So that last one does sound a bit hippy-ish I admit but I spend so much time online when I need to learn to put my phone down some more, especially in the evenings, I’m terrible for over thinking and not giving myself time to reflect on these thoughts which ruins my sleep and I’ll be honest I’m pretty sure I’m part sloth such is my love of sleep so I’ll do anything to improve the amount and quality I get.

Finally I shall keep my one of my hubby’s favourite sayings in my head “opinions are like arseholes, everyone has one and they’re normally full of shit”, if nothing else it will make me smile.

Cheers to a ruddy good 2018, may it be filled with sleep, agreeable toddlers and good times. Love The Mombie Diaries X

It’s a Christmas Post!

Luna with the big man himself

It may have escaped your attention but I LOVE Christmas, it’s just so magical. I love Christmas lights twinkling on a cold December night, I love having an excuse to eat crap and drink wine because it’s considered festive, and I love the fact that it pulls the family together.

As an adult I’ve always fully embraced Christmas but Christmas morning isn’t quite the same as an adult from when you were a kid. However now I’m a mum and it’s so exciting, last year Maisie didn’t really get Christmas, she was 11 months old and although she loved having presents it was all a bit confusing really and I was pregnant and a bit bleugh.

Admiring the Christmas train

This year however; Muj is loving the advent calendar, she’s loving all the talk of Santa, his Reindeer, Christmas morning and I am SOOOOO excited. I know she obviously still doesn’t quite get it, but she’s into it and I can’t wait for her to experience Christmas, not just the presents because honestly I could give her a carrier bag and she would be pleased, but all of it, getting together Christmas morning to see Santa has been, spending Christmas day together with family and having Christmas dinner together, pulling a cracker and playing games, I love it and she loves nothing more than being with her family.  I’ve kind of accepted Luna will probably be a bit overwhelmed by it all and mainly be interested in the wrapping paper than presents, but I’m excited for her to join us for some Christmas dinner now we’re weaning her, and I know she will get excited by seeing her sister excited too.

Fa-la-la-la-la La-la-la-la

I won’t lie, having spent the last two Christmas’s pregnant I will be happy to be able to raise a toast this year too! I will also be raising an extra special toast to the fact that that bastard elf Sprinkles is gone. I will also be making the most of John being off too, as with his job having Christmas off is not guaranteed and we’ve been so lucky that he’s had annual leave this year to be with us.

One thing that has changed though, part of me is looking forward to the decorations coming down, not because I don’t like them, I love them but, our home is cosy with the four of us, a dog and all the kids paraphernalia. Throw in a big Christmas tree and other decs and it all becomes extremely cosy, we haven’t any room for the clothes horse so it’s in the playroom (conservatory) where clothes take forever to dry which means mount washmore never goes down in size. I also look forward to not having to shout “LOOK WITH YOUR EYES” everywhere we go because everywhere and everyone has Christmas decs out and Muj is like a moth to the flame with them, except she isn’t as light as a moth and is 10,000 times more clumsy and strong.
The final thing is all the toys! I’m not ungrateful at all, it’s lovely that so many people want to spoil our girls, it’s touching but finding space for them all gives me palpitations, Luna is still using all the baby stuff Maisie has outgrown so it’s not like I can chuck that out to make room either. I won’t lie, I get so excited about the day the play mat and the jumperoo go, the day we sold her swing was fantastic, we had nearly 1 metre of floor space back!

Probably the closest we’ll get to a Christmas family photo

So there it is, my post on Christmas. I’m going to try my best to stay away from the blog on Xmas eve/day/boxing day to focus on the family, though I’m sure there will be the odd post on social networks.

So I want to wish every single one of you a fantastic Christmas, however you celebrate, I’m embracing the chaos, and the wine! Merry Christmas Lovelies!

Mombie’s Cheese Straws

This is the recipe I know quite a few people have been waiting for. These cheese straws are always a huge hit when I make them, so much so I’m pretty sure it’s made some people who can’t stand me, tolerate me, which I’m not one for caring in my personal life if people don’t like me but in my professional life, a big part of my previous job was keeping people sweet and I find food is a massive winner in that respect (my sparkling personality aside).

Whenever we have family picnics (which we do at the zoo a lot), there has to be cheese straws, and its tradition in my family for these bad boys to make an appearance over the Christmas holidays too. You can even make the dough up, freeze it and bake it when needed which is great if you’re one of those organised sorts.

So here it is, Mombie’s Cheese Straws;


225g (8oz) Plain Flour

Pinch of Salt

1/2 teaspoon English Mustard Powder

100g (4oz) Butter (I use unsalted butter)

150g (6oz) Strong Cheddar Cheese (I often go a bit extra)

1 Egg Yolk

2 Tblsp Water

Milk for Glazing


Pre-heat the oven to 190 degrees

Sift the flour with salt and mustard powder into a bowl.

Add the butter and cheese and rub until the mixture is like breadcrumbs.

Add the egg yolk and water and draw together until the mixture reaches a dough like consistency.

Roll the dough into a ball, cover with cling film and leave to rest in the fridge for at least 30 mins.

Dust a work surface and rolling pin with flour and roll out dough to roughly 2 mm thickness. cut into straws (or whatever shape you desire), pop on a tray and brush lightly with milk.

Bake in the oven for 15(ish) mins or until golden.

Remove from the oven and allow to set on the tray for a few minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.

Try not to eat them all at once.

As I say this is the bake is most popular with everyone I know, I would love to see photo’s of your bakes and how quickly they go!

What Happen’s After You Die?

This is maybe a bit of a deep one from me, but I was trawling through the mum chatrooms as I love to do, and a popular thread came up on Mumsnet: “to ask what happens when you die” and reading the responses really got me thinking. I’ve always had different images on what happens after you die so I’ll go through my scenario’s but I would love to know what you think too?

Scenarios in order of my favourite:

  1. You die and go to a heaven like place where you can reunite with your lost loved ones and finally have that hug you’ve been waiting for, my old dogs are there waiting for me too. You can also take a spirit like form and go to the land of the living to occasionally watch over your loved ones, which is when they see feathers or robin’s (as the old wives tales go).
  2. Heaven is basically a tropical island (or whatever your favourite destination is) where you can SLEEEEEEP as much as you want, there are cocktails on demand which don’t get you past tipsy and you never have a hangover, the sea is pure and clear and you can swim all day. Oh and you can eat all the carbs ever and look like a supermodel. (OK this one is big time fantasy but why not?)
  3. There is a form of heaven and hell and it turns out you have to have been pretty saintly to get into heaven, St Peter presses the button for the trap door and I slide down (the slide is actually really long and fun) to hell where I pay my penance and after a time can join heaven unless I was a total monster (time served depends on how bad you were, there’s a lower level of hell you never escape for paedophiles/rapists/murderers/terrorists)
  4. You die and are re-incarnated, I quite like the idea of being a sea turtle in my next life.
  5. You die and that is it, there is no more, no beyond, no heaven, but also no hell, no purgatory, it is the end.

For me, some of that is drawn from my coping mechanisms of dealing with death, I love the idea that my grandparents check in on my from time to time, both my girls have middle names after my nan’s as part of me feels like they were a gift from them. It sounds a bit naive in some ways written down and deep down I’m sure there is a very depressing scientific answer for what happens after you die but that doesn’t bring me comfort, my scenarios do. Also how cool does that slide sound? I obviously have watched way too many cartoons, but still!

So hit me with your ideas? I have to say, some of the comments on the thread above are quite enlightening to me, and even the “well you’re dead” type one’s have been written quite poetically that actually some of them don’t sound too awful either. Although I’m not shifting on my fantasy beliefs anytime soon.