Being on mat leave married to a husband who works random shifts I tend not to get Sunday blues anymore, I don’t often get a case of the Monday’s in fact I quite look forward to them in some aspects because going places tends to be quieter unless it’s the holidays (I dread when I join that group).
However the start of this week has not gone exactly to plan, if you follow my social media (especially insta-stories) you may have a gist of it. It went so absurdly wrong that you have to laugh, so let’s start with Monday;
Monday this week was my mum’s birthday, we thought it would be nice to go for a walk at Keasrney Abbey, take the dog, let the girls have fun in the playground (ok mainly Maisie) and maybe get a nice cup of tea from the café on our walk. We arranged to meet there at 10:30, google maps told me it was a good half hourish away, I managed to get everyone out the door and in car seats at 10:08, which for this family isn’t too bad, albeit we were still running late which I hate. In-between john sorting the boot of the car to fit the dog and double pushchair he informs me one of the tyres on the pushchair is flat, we decide it’s fine we’ll quickly inflate it when we get there and hope it holds out for the walk. I then get contacted by my mum to tell me that Junction 10 is queued back due to an accident, so I now know we will be even later. John hops into the drivers seat and starts the car, except it doesn’t turn on, he tries a few times until the car won’t even turn over. My car which just went out of warranty last month. John has a look under the hood, pulls his car around and jump starts the car(all the while I’m sat in the car with a whining dog, crying toddler and screaming baby, yaaaaay), I tell him to put the jump leads in my car just in case, and we’re away, 20 mins later than we should’ve been. No sooner have we gone about 50 yards when we notice a warning light on the dashboard, we pull over, john looks it up and informs me it’s where the battery needs to recharge, and as if by magic, we pull away after a minute and it disappears after another 50 yards. The good thing about our delay is that the Junction is now clear, yey.
Every Twunt and his mother is out on the motorway, doing that thing where they drive really slow then speed up when you go to overtake, or suddenly overtake back like it’s cat and mouse. I will add, at this point Luna is way overdue her morning nap, we fed her just before we left hoping it would lull her to sleep in the journey but the screaming/waiting time in the car seems to have supercharged her.
Just as we approach the tunnel past Folkestone, we hit a big old traffic jam moving at a snails pace, which incites more angst from the small one and lots of annoyance from the bigger one, Maisie is of the belief the slow moving is because our car is broken so she starts saying “come on car!” And gets further frustrated when the car does not leap to full speed.
Luna is getting more frustrated but we’re finally through the jam and moving again, which is when we think we can smell poo, not to worry we will change whoever has done it in the car when we get there.
We finally arrive, extremely late for our walk, I head off to find my mum with Maisie and Pumba while john is left to deal with what I am told is a very close shitastophe. Pumba meanwhile is pulling my arms out of their sockets trying to befriend other dogs and go and chase ducks, Pumba is a classic Marley and Me Labrador, which is the very reason I am hesitant to let him off the lead, however I can bear the arm stretching no longer and we have walked away from the ducks so I risk it, all is well, we are having a grand time until I hear a shout of “PUMBAAA” from john walking across to meet us, I got so wrapped up with watching Maisie with my mum I forgot about the pissing dog who is now running full pelt towards the duck pond where some mums and their toddlers are feeding the ducks, we are now both yelling “PUMBAAA” and sensing the danger in our voices and by some miracle of God the dog hits the brakes just before the pond and comes running back to go straight on the lead.
After our walk we decide to get drinks from the café after John informs me he has not yet had a drink today, I offer to buy drinks and decide to be organised and dig my purse out of the change bag befoRe I go into the café, except I can find neither a purse or a wallet, because we both forgot to put one in.
Luckily our drinks were bought for us, as John and I have a small bicker over whose fault it was, feeling embarrassed. After that the day wasn’t too bad apart from Maisie having a powernap in the car on the drive home meaning she absolutely completely refused a nap when we got home, oh and Luna did not nap either of the drives nor on the walk, will of steel that kid.
On Tuesday we decided to go to Polegate (on the outskirts of Eastbourne) to see his mum and sister in their café (again, check my social media, the food and drink is delish) and to pick up a pushchair we had won on eBay that John’s mum had kindly picked up for us. We didn’t set a time to leave that day which was great as there wasn’t a massive rush, although we did leave quite late, John the asks Maisie if we should go the back roads or Hastings, she picks Hastings which quite honestly was a poor choice as we got stuck in lots of traffic and the weather was awful so we couldn’t even admire the sea really. Again, Luna has yet to have a morning nap and has been fighting it and whingeing a lot of the journey so far, just after Hastings, we hit such abominable traffic it takes us a good 20 mins or so to go 2 miles. By this point Luna has lost her shit and Maisie is crying too, the only thing that calms Luna is me stroking her (which breaks me at such an awkward angle) or me singing to her, unfortunately, my singing often enrages Maisie so it’s a choice of sing and calm Luna but have Maisie cry, break my arm and stroke Luna but have Maisie cry to stop touching Luna or ignore both and go to my happy place, I did a mix of all three, I’m not going to lie.
Whilst in traffic John and I are discussing if we can smell poo or not, it’s not too pungent so we decide not to stop at the services once through the traffic because it’s either outside, one of the girls have wind or it’s just a little poo. At this point, John and I admit to each-other neither of us has had breakfast today and it looks like Maisie is not going to be sleeping anytime soon so I crack open MY emergency pretzels that I now have to share.
We eventually arrive in Polegate, the weather is about 2degrees, its ridiculously windy and raining and we have to walk down to the café it is at this point as I lift Luna from her car seat the brown aroma hits me like a ton of bricks, as it has done her clothes, we have a nuclear shitastrophe or epic proportions, luckily for us, Johns sister lives above the café so we kind of run down holding Luna awkwardly at an arms length and casually ask to go upstairs trying not to upset the customers. It’s as we’re going upstairs it dawns on me, I’m almost certain I forgot to replace the emergency clothes in the change bag or top up the nappies. My bad feeling is correct, luckily after rooting around we find 1 nappy but no clothes, not even Maisie’s, Luna’s poo leaked through two layers, the only thing not hit is her cardigan and bib, so we pop those on her and wrap her in a blanket. Now if you don’t know Polegate, I’ll spare you some excitement, there isn’t much there in the way of shops, especially not the type to sell baby clothes, so John now has to drive towards Eastbourne to Sainsbury’s which is the nearest shop to get more nappies and spare clothes. Maisie is off her face on excitement at being with family again and Luna just wants to show everyone in the café her chubby legs and nappy while I’m trying to keep her covered, partly to hide the crap mum failing as much as keeping her warm!
However John did eventually return (I did wonder if he would just drive off into the sunset never to be seen again) with two gorgeous outfits for the little lady and we had such a delicious lunch, with the scrummiest cake in the world, plus we got our new pushchair. On the drive back, Maisie eventually crashed out for a while so John and I snuck out the chocolate to share which always feels like a win when you don’t have to share with the kids. Luna, slept for approximately 20 minutes before starting the song of our people, Maisie woke shortly after we finished the chocolate and the rest of the journey home was interspersed with wailing, chatting and the very occasional (beautiful) silence.
Since those two days I haven’t found mentally strong enough to go out in the car with the kids again 😉
Oh and if you’re near Polegate, pop in to the Cherry Tree Eatery, you will thank me for it later, especially if they have apple crumble cake in!