It’s my BIRTHDAAAY!
So today is the anniversary of my birth, the 29th anniversary if you want me to be exact. Which means next year I will be 30, am I dreading that? Hell no!
It’s funny, the other day on my Facebook I had one of those “on this day” pop up from 7 years ago and it was basically me complaining and dreading turning 22 in a few days and I laughed, a lot! I thought that was turning old, ha! The thing is I don’t feel old now, I mean yes if I ever venture into a pub on a weekend I can’t help but notice it’s full of what looks like 12 year old’s, I was also equally shocked when what I’m sure was an 11 year old came to pick up my hubby’s hire car the other day so I know that yes I’m getting older, and when I look back at my 21 year old body part of me feels slightly sad(no mum tum!), but really I’d take the extra flab for what I’ve gained in return.
You see the thing is, I spent so much of my time in my late teens and early twenties feeling unhappy, feeling I had to look and be a certain way, I also dated some shit heads that didn’t help those feelings. Now, on the whole I’m generally happy, yes I suffer a bit with anxiety and I have bad days and I still have my medication and I’m also still going through some stressful things, but I have achieved so very much. I have a great business degree, which I did all on my own, I have married my best friend and my soul mate (although that doesn’t mean I don’t want to kill him sometimes), I am a mum to two beautiful sassy little girls and I’m also a mum to one idiotic yet lovable Labrador who was my first baby. Sure we don’t own our own house and financially things are tight with my being home with the girls, however it is so lovely to be home and not missing anything (despite how I feel when they both wake up from their afternoon naps and spend the next hour crying/screaming).
The other way birthday’s have changed is my approach to it, it’s not about the “presents”, I’ve learnt a lot about stuff and things the last year or so and I’ve tried to be a bit less materialistic and I’m much happier for it, for me a gift is just something someone took time over, whether that was making something or buying it even if it was giving what you specifically asked for (I may have asked my husband for a nice dress and sent him some helpful links to dresses I liked), that person at least listened. From my girls I hope to have big cuddle and kiss and be brought some pretend food from their kitchen, anything they’ve made is a bonus, because when you’re the one home all the time it tends to be that you make the gifts with the kids for everyone else so I kind of miss having something for me that is a surprise if that makes sense?
One of the biggest gifts is that yet again my parents in law are having the girls for two nights this weekend, we drop them off after lunch today and while I’ll miss the girls I am so excited for some child free time, some time to myself and the hubby to relax together. The girls have both been terrible with tantrums lately and it’s just been exhausting and draining so to be honest, for this mummy a break is going to be the greatest gift I could ask for, oh and some wine of course!
So that’s it, I’m kind of excited and curious, to see if I will feel the same next year about turning 30, I think maybe 40 will be my wobble! Especially as I’ll have a teenager and pre-teen then.
So Cheers to my last year in my twenties, I think I’m kind of excited to enter my thirties, as cheesy as it sounds my life is getting richer the older I get, I’m becoming more comfortable in myself as a person apart from the bad days and a bit of anxiety, which is nothing to how I used to feel.
I am worthy of love and really that’s the essential essence of a birthday, celebrating the anniversary of the birth of those who you love. I get the morning with my girls, part of the afternoon with just my hubby then the evening with my parents, sister, brother in law and nephew, and I couldn’t be happier about that, I’m going to be surrounded by love, and hopefully food and wine and a bit of cake!