10 Reasons why Peppa Pig is the Absolute Worst

When Maisie was first born, John bought these books on how to raise an intelligent (emotionally and intellectually) child, one of the big things he stipulated was no TV before 2. HA HA HA, that rule quickly went out the window when I fell pregnant with Luna, thankfully, our main channel was CBEEBIES, I didn’t bother with the other channels, I knew of Peppa Pig and I had read so many bad things about her in forums that I knew to avoid her.

I have to admit these days we are more disciplined with the TV unless ill, we only have it on for the last part of the day if at all, however, if I have failed to get up and showered before the kids are up in a morning (which is often because I value my sleep too much) I often let Maisie be babysit with Youtube on my phone while I have a quick shower when Luna is napping. Unfortunately for me, my darling husband once let her watch that pig and she is now obsessed. I used to be able to palm her off with the slightly more educational “Andy’s prehistoric adventures” but no, all she will watch is Peppa. I like to think i’m pretty patient with kids shows, for instance, I’ve grown accustomed to Mr Tumble, I have managed to clock out Bing’s constant whining (Bing is next on my hit list) but I cannot stand Peppa Pig, here is a list of reason’s why it’s just terrible;

  1.  Pedro Pony, he is a fudging liability, he’s late to EVERYTHING, loses EVERYTHING, and is just a bit useless, the other week I learnt he had broken his leg and was in hospital and Peppa and her class were going to visit him, imagine my disappointment it wasn’t a glue factory.
  2. Daddy Pig is a bloody moron and quite frankly seems incapable of pretty much anything, ever, I could list too many things for why he shouldn’t be allowed his kids.
  3. The Doctor, seriously, one kid just has to sneeze and they call the doctor, who comes in a bloody AMBULANCE to give some medicine?! Can these adults not work out to what to do with a cold without the need of a flipping Doctor?! At the very worst call the pharmacist, gee whizz.
  4. The Vet, first off, no one ever seems to get billed by the vet which as we know is BS, second off, she has a seaplane which she uses to go out to a gecko in the mountains Edward Elephant has found (who is apparently a clever clogs) that is sick, except he isn’t sick hes just stuck on his back, I mean really? First of all, Edward is a moron, not a clever clogs if they didn’t even try that, second of all, I hope the vet bills them a ridiculous amount of money for calling her out for that, and how many vets have planes to get to sick animals in this Country?!
  5. Miss Rabbit, I don’t understand how Miss Rabbit does all the jobs and just so happens to be working that particular one when Peppa comes by, what if someone needs her in one of her other jobs but no she can’t because she’s selling George an overpriced balloon his moronic grandpa will lose.
  6. Sizing, all the animals are the same size! since when is an elephant the same size as a hamster?! ridiculous!
  7. Pets, why do some animals not make the cut to be treated like the rest of the animals on Peppa Pig and merely get downgraded to incoherent pets? who decides who is what? This is something I’ve also questioned on Hey Duggee (which I do actually like) and Bing but it annoys me most with this.
  8. The storylines are ridiculous and there is very little educational value from it, at least when shes watching Mr Tumble I can pretend to myself she’s learning sign language.
  9. My biggest Pet Peeve, the sexism! All the girls wear dresses and play with dolls and pick flowers etc etc, the boys play football, play with dinosaurs etc, Peppa’s best friend Susie sheep wants to be a nurse, but why can’t she want to be a doctor, and a boy character a nurse (that’s not me hating on nurses by the way, they are amazing and not well paid/supported enough). It’s all very old fashioned role wise and it drives me potty, I’m trying to raise my girls to believe they can do and be anything they want so long as they work hard for it, and then you have these shows that just kind of enforce stereotypical gender roles and I just want to scream!
  10. Finally, the crappy merchandise, it’s everywhere and overpriced for absolute crap, which obviously my kid wants, then there’s Peppa Pig world which I will probably give in and take her to at some point and pretend I’m having a great time when all I want to do is bonk that ungrateful rude little, phallic head shaped pig in the nose.

So that’s my main issues with that pig who is well overdue a visit to a special house to be made into a nice bacon sarnie for me to enjoy whilst we watch something else on TV!

Oh and to add insult to injury my husband LOVES Peppa, sometimes I question our marriage, he also just read this and pretty much defended every point, anyone have a number for a marriage counsellor? 😉

God you’re annoying.