My Birthday, by Maisie

Maisie/Muj here, I got fed up of mummy working so I decided to take over and tell you all about my birthday, because mummy would only tell it wrong anyway.

It has been a long wait until this thing mum and dad keep talking about since the scary fat man with the beard dropped me off some presents, my “Birthday”, all I know is that it means cake, mummy keeps asking me what type of cake I want and I keep telling her Moana, and I wait for her to give it to me, but she just doesn’t, she says its not my birthday yet?! Why does this woman forever torment and tease me? 

Today is my birthday, mummy, daddy and Lulu came into my room singing happy birthday and we all went downstairs where mummy and daddy told me to go look for something, I immediately went to my cake on the table because it’s my birthday which means CAKE! Apparently it was not cake time yet (WTF, yet again, mummy torments me) and I was redirected to the rug. It was there I saw a glorious sight of presents IN A WHEELBARROW! My own wheelbarrow, finally! My presents were surrounded by balloons, not quite enough for my liking but it will do, I guess. I tried to share out the presents like at scary fat man time but apparently they were ALL for me?! This was turning out better than the scary fat man day.  

Hard at work

Opening presents was hard work, so I had some milk with a special straw to make it tastier and then I had my favourite food for breakfast, sausages! This day was going alright, though I play it cool, can’t let mummy and daddy think they’re doing a good job and let them be comfortable. Plus they kept giving Luna attention, even though it’s apparently MY day! 

After mummy threw a cup of hot chocolate all over the kitchen and her and daddy took forever cleaning it, we went out in the car, whereby I made sure to scream everytime Lulu was falling asleep so she would start crying again, can’t let mummy and daddy relax too much after all. After practically forever we arrived at the seaside, where Nanna and Nonno were waiting for me! Then we went in this strange building where I had to wait while mummy and daddy fed Luna, but I saw a special dolphin ride so dragged Nanna to it so she could make it work for me, until the killjoy mummy said Nanna had spent enough money and took me away from the fun. Finally mummy and daddy remembered it was MY day so we went properly into the building and saw loads of fish, of course I made sure to run from one tank to the next most of the time before mummy or daddy could tell me what things were, except with the stingrays, they were pretty cool, and the sharks were ok, at one point I lost mummy because she was busy looking at an octopus so I made sure to repeatedly yell really loudly for her to come to my side at once because it is after all MY day. Next we went to one of my favourite bits of the building, the gift shop, I had a lot of fun playing with different toys and even got Nanna and Nonno to buy me a stingray (suckers), unfortunately they bought Lulu a turtle too, but I guess that’s ok, even though it’s not her day. 

Then we went to an arcade where I spent so much pirate money in these machines to win more pirate money back and some tickets. Eventually when I made it clear I was done, mummy and daddy went to a special counter and I got to pick a bouncy ball and a sweetie, mummy and daddy said something about how much they had spent to win that, but obviously they don’t know how special bouncy balls are (duh). 

I got to have lunch in a boat then we had the boring drive home where I took a cheeky power nap to ensure I wouldn’t have to have a nap when I got home. Nanna and Nonno came back to our house and they brought MORE PRESENTS. Do you know, opening presents is very tiring? I had to demand mummy or Nanna do the hard bit because I needed to conserve playing energy (obvs). Then I FINALLY got to have my cake, mummy brought it in with a candle and everyone sung me happy birthday and mummy helped me blow it out as it was faulty or something because it wouldn’t go out when I tried.  

Later Nanna and Gog came over to see me too, so I let them have cake as well, keep them sweet and all that, and I showed them my toys and half talked to them and half watched a film as I was tired and it was MY day don’t you know? After Nanna and Gog left my Auntie Rachel came over who had a present as well, so I also let her have some cake especially as she got me a Peppa Pig! 

Before long it was bedtime and it had been a busy day, luckily Nanna and Nonno got me some more musical instruments because a keyboard, drumkit and guitar aren’t enough I now have a triangle and the maracas to play with too. Mummy said something about how happy she was that I had more things to make MORE noise with, so I decided I should probably have a good night sleep ready to serenade mummy and daddy in the morning.  

In conclusion, I have decided birthday’s are pretty good, although it did make me a bit grumpy for a few days after because I was tired, obviously mummy’s fault for not tending to my needs well enough, don’t worry I make sure to let her know of every single failing, then I give her a kiss to give her a bit of encouragement to do better. I think I should have a birthday every month. 

Anyway this writing malarkey is boring and I need to go put some stickers on the dog, mummy can have her magic machine back now. 


So there you have it, I think everyone was shattered for a few days after Maisie’s birthday, although to be fair I’m constantly in a mombie like state so it’s hard to say. It was such a lovely day and I wanted to thank everyone that sent presents, cards or well wishes, she had a great day and the cake was flippin tasty if I may say so myself.  

*disclaimer* I may have typed this for Muj but I’m pretty sure this is fairly accurate 😉

Things my toddler has had a tantrum about today

You know those days when you can do no right by your toddler? It has very much been one of those days today. So I thought I’d do a little list of the things she’s had a tantrum over today, as to be honest if I didn’t laugh about it I would most definitely cry. I would love to hear the reasons why your kid has had a tantrum too, let’s have a glass of wine and a laugh over those little dictators of ours!

So here goes:

  1. She was offered breakfast
  2. She wanted breakfast
  3. She was told not to put her rice crispies on her feet or feed to the dog.
  4. She couldn’t have a whole punnet of blueberries in one sitting
  5. She wanted to colour in, but when I got the colouring in stuff out I was a monster.
  6. I turned the TV off that wasn’t being watched and she was in a different room.
  7. I told her it is not nice to hit and not to hit me again.
  8. I told her not to put her sister’s teddy in her own poop whilst I changed her nappy.
  9. The dog was in his bed
  10. She was not allowed another snack, having had several already.
  11. She wasn’t given my glass tumbler I was drinking from to play with.
  12. I went for a wee
  13. I wasn’t drawing right
  14. I offered her some of my drink
  15. It was raining
  16. Daddy was making Lulu milk
  17. I wouldn’t eat the rest of her banana
  18. She wanted a banana but not the one on the side
  19. I wouldn’t let her eat the dried orange slices on the side
  20.  Mummy came to her instead of daddy
  21. The floor (go figure)

The list does go on so much more but I wanted to give you an insight into my day, well an insight into most of my days if I’m honest. So of you’ve had truly bad day with the kids and you’re thinking back to those child free holidays in the sun with cocktails when no one cried at you because you brought the wrong fork, know you are not alone.

I will just add, I bloomin love my girls and wouldn’t trade them for the world or go back to the days before I had them, it’s just sometimes, some days, it’s hard and I’m human, I’m a person, not just MOMMMMAAAAA!!!!

A personal fave of mine, the classic supermarket tantrum.